


Letting Go

by TakeMeOut



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 21:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14317254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakeMeOut/pseuds/TakeMeOut
Summary: The Doctor isn’t ready to decide just yet.Set just before the final scene of Twice Upon A Time.





	Letting Go

She’s poring over a plan of the dig when he slips into the tent, so soundlessly it takes her a moment to realise he’s there. His hair is longer, whiter and more unruly than she’s ever seen it on this body, and she has a sudden feeling he shouldn’t be there. He’s cheated, though she’s not sure how, or what that means. 

She tilts her head at him, brushing a strand of hair off her face as her mouth quirks. “Hello, sweetie. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

There’s pain in those eyes, but when he smiles back - showing all his teeth, as if he can’t stop his delight at seeing her from shining through - his face is still kind, and the deep warmth he reserves for her is as real as ever. She can’t imagine his face has ever been more heavily lined, as if he’s been through a battle so terrible even the storytellers of legend chose to forget. He’s still beautiful, she thinks, even battered and bleeding. 

He seems oddly indecisive about answering, but then his eyes crease into a web of affection, and he shrugs. “Just needed to see a friendly face.”

There’s something the matter, that much is obvious. Despite his grin, he looks more gaunt, more tired and more lost than she’s ever seen him before. She wonders what he’s been through, and what’s ahead of him, but knows better than to ask. Either way, it all lies in her future, or even beyond it. Sometimes it’s better not to know. 

He waits for her to move, and when she takes him to bed she can sense the cracks in his normally confident exterior. He’s unusually hesitant, as if he wants her to show him the way, and when he comes he gives a guttural cry as though he’s in pain. 

She touches his face, afterwards, fingers tracing his thin lips as his eyes narrow affectionately at her. There’s turmoil in his eyes, and she wonders if he’ll ever find real peace. 

He searches her face for a few minutes, then slips out of bed and starts pulling his clothes on. She’s surprised, and concerned. “Going so soon? What’s the rush?”

He won’t meet her eye, so she pulls his arm till he’s forced to sit down on the bed. Reluctantly, he looks up from his feet, and sighs wearily. “I have a decision to make. An impossible one.” He breathes out heavily. “I need to go.”

She watches him for a moment. “Let me come with you.”

He shakes his head, but his eyes are soft in that thin face. “The place I have to go to now … it has to be alone.” 

She starts to protest, but he cuts her off with a voice that’s unusually gentle. “No, River. This time, I need you to let me go. Alone.” 

She bites her lip to stop the maelstrom of thoughts in her head escaping, and only when she has control of her voice does she speak. “Doctor … whatever it is you have to do … whatever you have to decide … don’t give up. Please … don’t give up.”

He closes his eyes for a moment, as if she’s reminded him of something he was too tired to remember, then nods once, kisses her softly, and is gone. The flap of the tent sways in the breeze, and she speaks quietly to it. “Goodbye, sweetie.”


End file.
